Sunday, June 28, 2009


I am finally getting used to this new schedule...meaning time for family and me. I had the weekend off and enjoyed every moment I did not HAVE to crack a book, every moment I could focus completely on my kids. Nope, I don't have to be the "MmmmHmm" parent with a half assed look out of the corner of my eye while my face is burried in a book, as the kids say "Look at me mommy!" I don't have to miss any of it now! Nothing is cooler than that!
We had two nights of sleepovers...(I am learning that boys are just as giggly as girls so don't let your husbands tell you otherwise)...swimming, pizza, ball practice, and just an all around good time. I had no worries about when I would squeeze in a little time for anyone or anything! The house was cleaned, errands were run, kids were happy, Kerry got to shoot clay pigeons and even went to the driving range. It might be easier than I thought to find a "happy" place right here at home.
I was tired last night, but couldn't sleep. My solution??? I got in the car, drove north until I hit a dirt road and continued about a mile (which isn't far if you live where I do). I turned everything off, but a little light music, and sat back on a blanket in the ditch. I did not stay long, but the crickets, the breeze, the night sky, all of it was so...so tranquil. I could have fallen asleep right then and there. The point of the story? Making time for me, ANY time for me is coming along nicely. I am still responsible for everything as before, but I am able to let go of the unimportant to make time for my own serenity...good word, thanks friend.
Maybe I will get back home to me sooner than I thought.

Don't you realize that the sea is the home of water? All water is off on a journey unless it's in the sea, and it's homesick, and bound to make it's way home someday. -Zora Neale Hurston

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Courage

This is the art of courage: to see things as they are and still believe that the victory lies not with those who avoid the bad, but those who taste, in living awareness, every drop of the good. -Victoria Lincoln

My great friend, S.C., has this posted on her blog: "I would swear to anyone that I'm the luckiest person in the world. My life isn't perfect, but my memory is such that I can't remember anything bad." What great insight she has! She chooses to deal with her every-day ups and downs, just like the rest of us...but she feels all the good with such depth in each of her senses that she can't remember anything bad! What an AMAZING feeling to have! Lucky her, and lucky me to have such great inspiration in a friend like her.

Courage accept the negative and relish all the good that comes with it...no matter how much or little there is! Cool.

"A smile, a nod in the elevator, a few minutes of quiet time-these are living every drop of the good."

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Drinking from my own well.



In contemporary America people are again discovering how to drink from their own wells. -Lynn R. Laurence

I am not sure how long this will last, but I have decided to share my daily meditations. I hope to keep it going for many months but that will take some discipline on the "taking time for me" side of life.

The text states, "...looking outside ourselves for someone who will fix our lives for us. We sometimes even believe that God or a power greater than ourselves can make everything alright-that we just have to sit back and let it happen. Not so."

"Healing is the experience of the oneness of all things and our ability to take our place in that oneness."

So in short, I am a firm believer in my God; He has carried me through so much! It is knowing I have to be an active participant in my life and in my healing process that is the difference. He is within me and all that is around me. Free will cannot be taken from me, it is a very special gift He gave to me before I was born. Choices. Choices are what we all have. I choose to be an active participant because if I choose to lay back and let it happen...it will be the end of me.

"My thirst can only be quenched from my own well and my awareness that this well is mine and is shared by all."

Monday, June 22, 2009

Clusters

Life comes in clusters, clusters of solitude, then clusters when there is hardly time to breathe. -Mary Sarton

Well put. I received a book over a year ago from a dear friend. I spent a few days looking at this book and haven't opened it since. Time to change that. Time to start looking at me; not selfishly, but in a healing way. I have always been more comfortable with a busy schedule, it has kept me from what I fear...time for a person I have never REALLY known. Me. I must learn to take the time to breathe and appreciate myself, my time, my efforts, and my children. "The ocean never tires of the ebb and flow of the tides. I have something to learn from the ocean."