Her breasts and arms ached with the beauty of her own forgiveness. -Meridel Le Sueur.
Everyone needs to be forgiven. Mistakes are made / our loved ones are hurt, and in turn we hurt ourselves. I cannot accept the forgivenss of anyone else until I have taken the time to accept and take responsibility for myself. I have to forgive myself before making amends with those people in my life which I have caused pain.
The hard part is deciding what it is I need forgiveness for...sounds strange, I know. There are those easy moments to remember; like when I threw food at Art in the cafeteria while in Jr. High, when I smoked in the basement after my mother told me not to, and when I ate the last of the Chunky Monkey knowing darn well Kerry wanted it.
I am talking about the times when I was too tired to answer the phone when a friend was calling, when my kids only wanted to snuggle in close and I told them to let me be, and when I spend too much money on restaurant food instead of making the cable bill on time. Oh, the guilt can be overwhelming! Go ahead, laugh...but it is!
Are these things that haunt me from time to time those things I have to forgive myself for and not worry about, DUH! Yes, they are. Those are my selfish ME moments that I have to take in order to keep my sanity. Realizing it is okay to want a little space, peace, quiet, and a nice meal I don't have to clean up after...it's okay. We have earned it. We deserve it. Ebb and flow / give and take.
2 comments:
You're a great mom, a loving wife and a wonderful friend. Be sure to remember those things when you're judging yourself for forgiveness. You're one of my most-est favorite-ist people EVER!
That is so cool! I love that you have a picture from my mom's house. Makes me feel like you have a little part of me in your pocket.
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